Married at First Sight Dallas: Episode 16 - Decision Day

It’s here! Finally here! Married at First Sight Dallas’ DECISION DAY! The episode is titled All Roads Lead to This. I’ll say.

I’m so excited. (Oh crap. I was excited until I saw they’re drawing this episode out for 2 hours. NOPE! All excitement gone.)

We really don’t even need to watch this episode. We already know how it’ll go and even what the decisions will be. First, the couples (and show) will rehash everything we already watched the whole season. They’ll talk about the good times and the struggles. Everyone will say they aren’t sure yet what they’ll do. Each person will engage in some “real talk” with friends and/or loved ones, but the loved one will offer no real counsel beyond, “I hope whatever you decide makes you happy. I want what’s best for you” or some such. Toward the end, the editors will introduce some *big issue* arising between the couples (either something new or the same old crap) which will amp up the nerves and cast doubt as we move into DD. 

On DD, all the couples will opt to stay together. Tristan and Mia will continue punishing themselves in this endless cycle as they’ve done all season even though it’s obvious they will never work out. (And they WILL divorce, as we already know from spoilers. Which, if you didn’t know, um, sorry. But really? You DID know because you have eyes.) Danielle and Bobby will, of course, stay together because they’re in puppy love. Even if Danielle will never say it because she’s a robot. Dave and Amber will also stay together. I don’t know if they’ll make it in the long run, but they’ll make it past DD. Hopefully Amber can get her insecurities in check and Dave can be a little less rigid. 

Alright. Those are my predictions so let’s see if I’m right. And I’m telling you right now, I’ll be fast-forwarding through anything that isn’t new footage.

Speaking of fast-forwarding, it’s already a bad sign that I had to go past almost 4 and a half minutes of recap prior to opening credits.  

With only 3 days until DD, Dr. Pepper lays it on thick about all the stress the couples are under, so the couples are meeting for dinner to relax and commiserate. Dave and Amber and Bobby and Danielle arrive first and talk. Of course it’s like “do you know what you’re doing going into DD?” and Dave immediately responds with talk of  “a lot of ups and downs and a lot of tough times” that have taken place with him and Amber (he says it twice- once to the couple and once to camera; he also tells camera that he’s at a 51%-49% on whether or not he and Amber will stay together.) Danielle and Bobby again say they’re sure they’ll have a fight soon. Their day is coming. Blah blah. But you know what? I don’t think they really do think they’ll have a fight ever. (I think I said that before, actually. If so, I still think it.) They all wonder if Tristan and Mia will show this time.

Tristan and Mia come in a couple minutes later. Dave wastes no time asking T&M how they’ve been. Tristan says he is tired. Everyone acts like they’re equally tired, but it’s clear Tristan and Mia are the most tired. Bobby shoves a full hard-boiled egg into his mouth. Danielle bites hers like normal people. Tristan shares cleaned-up versions of the issues he and Mia have had throughout, but they’re all glossed over as though the couple has learned a great deal from their past trials. Mia says nothing during this conversation. She looks scared to talk. The show conveniently shows us examples of Mia speaking up in the past and Tristan getting mad about it, so it seems pretty clear why she’s saying nothing. She explains to camera that she and Tristan have discussed boundaries in the past so she doesn’t want there to be issues. Danielle tells camera it sounds like Tristan is doling out PC answers to questions, and she’s not sure she could accurately say how the couple is doing. 

Dave and Amber share news of their own minimoon fight. Dave admits he was “a dick.” Danielle and Bobby know each other so well. They feel they’re “way ahead” of where normal couples are at the 8-week mark. 

Danielle asks how everyone feels going into DD. Tristan wants to get it over with. Dave and Amber are nervous but they’ve been taking it day by day. Bobby can’t wait for it to come so he can keep going with Danielle. 

It’s now 2 days until DD. 

Dave and his buds (Kelly! How I’ve missed you! How’s Dabney?) are having lunch. He wants their counsel. Dave repeats his concerns (the same ones we’ve heard 3000 times now), and stresses that he’s especially bothered with some of the repeated issues he didn’t think would continue to be issues. His buds tell him that’s typical in a marriage—having the same fight repeatedly is being married. Dave gets annoyed, though, because his friends are looking at this like a normal marriage and not an “arranged marriage,” and one with a built-in “out.” Both his friends say they like Amber and think she’s a good fit for Dave, and they haven’t seen any glaring red flags. One friend ends his spiel with—no lie—we know you’ll make the best decision. We love you and want the best for you. 

Mia calls her friend Natasha. Tristan calls his mom. The conversations are being spliced together with editing. Perhaps because they’re pretty much having the same conversation. Blah blah “roller coaster.” Blah blah “intense relationship.” They both have a lot to think about. Tristan’s mom is in his phone as “Woman.” 

Amber and her friends go to a “super cute” place to drink wine and dish. Amber says sometimes Dave can be hard to read. She knows Dave is sexually attracted to her because they’ve been shagging every day, but she wonders if he’s attracted to her as a person. She’s pretty sure she’s committed, but she isn’t sure if he is. Pal Ashley gives Amber some straight-talk. She’s all, “Some of the things you’re mentioning—his negatives—those are a big deal. So I’d hate to see you choose to stay married just so you’re not ‘a failure,’ but I want you to be sure. Are you sure you want to choose him to be with for the rest of your life?” She also hits Amber with, “Do you think there’s someone better out there for you?” Amber tells camera she’s spent all this time wondering if she’s right for Dave, if he likes her, etc, but should she be bothering? She wants to be with someone who thinks she’s amazing, and if Dave doesn’t, what is she doing?

Danielle calls her friend who asks how she’s feeling and what Danielle likes best about Bobby. Danielle lists all the things Bobby does for her. The food he makes her. The way he takes care of the dogs. The way she only has to tell him once how she prefers something to be cleaned or organized and he does it that way immediately… Ouch. Not a single mention of actual feelings. Except to say that hesaid the “L-word” toher. The friend asks if Danielle reciprocated and looks genuinely bummed to hear the answer is no. Danielle gives some song and dance about not wanting to rush to say it, especially since she isn’t sure how she feels. 

Bobby has drinks with his sister, one of his best friends. (His other best friends are his mom and dad and Danielle. Coincidently, those are also all the people he loves. And his family. Does Bobby actually know any other people? I’m starting to wonder.) Bobby’s sister points out that Bobby, in past relationships, has always been a giver and doer, sometimes to a fault. He takes on so much and does for his partner but at the detriment of his own desires. Wow. Old habits die hard, huh? She goes on to be all, “So are you sure you’ve been yourself this whole time and Danielle knows and is accepting of the real you?” Bobby insists he has and Danielle knows and appreciates him for himself. But he tells camera he really would like Danielle to tell him how she feels before DD. 

Now it’s 1 day until DD. 

Amber and Dave are out to eat. They toast. Dave asks Amber how she feels going into DD. She confesses she’s nervous because she doesn’t know how he’s feeling. Dave says they’re not a perfect match and he doesn’t want them to choose to stay together just because they’ve been thrown together. He wants them to choose each other. Amber feels Dave is a little critical and judgmental of her, and has high expectations she can’t meet. YES times 1000, Amber. Dave is all (to camera), “Do I have high expectations for my wife? Darn right I do. Is there room for adjustment? Maybe.” Amber tells Dave she agrees they should choose each other, and she’d like to make it work with him, but she’s not sure he feels the same. Dave just stares at her and says nothing.

Tristan and Mia have dinner. Tristan says he has doubts. He doesn’t know what he wants to do. He says his friends asked him why he stayed. He explains at the beginning it was not about Mia at all, but about seeing if he could be committed as he’s struggled with commitment in the past. But then he saw something in her that seemed different than the bad he was hearing about her. But what if he was wrong? Mia says she came into this experiment thinking she was self-aware and self-assured, but realizes she has communication issues.

Danielle and Bobby are having s’mores in their yard. Bobby confesses he made his decision long ago. Danielle looks sick to her stomach. Bobby tries to bring up how he told Dr. Jessica that Danielle could be hard to read and it’s obvious to viewers he was trying to use that to segue to asking her how she’s feeling about him, but Danielle jumps in and says, “Yes, and hopefully now I’m easier to read.” Bobby chickens out and doesn’t press it. They hold hands awkwardly, Danielle’s face unreadable.  

The couples were asked to spend their last night apart so they can think about their decision, so there’s lots of packing taking place. 

The next morning the couples wake up alone (Bobby topless). 

Dave missed Amber last night. It was the first time they didn’t have sex in 2 months, the first time they didn’t sleep next to each other. Amber missed her apartment and enjoyed her own space more than she thought she would. She’s more confused than ever. Honestly, I’m happy Amber is legitimately questioning this now not from the sole standpoint of whether Dave wants her, but also if she wants him.

Danielle finally notes Bobby has been generous and giving. Bobby still wishes Danielle would have told him how she feels. 

Tristan says this past 8 weeks feels like a year. I agree wholeheartedly. This season has felt brutally long. (They’re recapping all the Mia/Tristan drama again but I’m FFing past it.)

Let the Decision Day festivities commence!

They’re starting with Bobby and Danielle because there’s no real question here, but we have to sit through it anyway.

Rev Cal wonders if they aren’t allowing themselves to argue. He also wonders what’s in Danielle’s heart. (So does Bobby.)

Bobby tells Danielle these have been the best 8 weeks of his life and he’s so happy he’s with her and he wants to be with her forever. He gets on his knee and asks if she’ll be with him forever. He opens a ring box with a giant diamond. They edit it so it sounds like Danielle is saying, “uh…uh…” but there’s no actual way to make these two seem shocking. In response, Danielle finally gives Bobby what he’s been waiting so long to hear: she drops the L-word on him. She’s “head over heels in love” with him. All the experts cry. They toast champagne. 

Mia and Tristan are next because nobody cares about them either. Mia is wearing that blue dress I like. I’m zipping by some of their walking-in scenes because it’s the same crap over and over again. 

Dr. Jessica wants to know how Tristan and Mia recovered from the Austin fight. Rote answers. Cal wants to know how they both are now. More rote answers. Tristan says he’s forgiven anything he’s ever done to Mia and Mia has done to him. Cal is like, whoa, pump the breaks. Those feelings are real, but you can’t just sweep them under the carpet because there’s a lump under there for you to trip over. He advises them to work through the feelings.

Now it’s the big moment. Dr. Jessica asks JayT if he wants to stay with Mia. He says he does. Dr. Jessica repeats the question to Mia. Blah blah ups and downs. She never knows how he’s going to react when she tells him things, but that’s what she worries about….commercial break… but she knows they’ll have hurdles to cross but she’d like to cross them together. She promises she’s not going to leave him. (Funny spoiler alert: she’s the one who files the divorce papers.) He promises to keep pushing himself to be the man she deserves.

More toasts.

Time for Amber and Dave. The walking-in footage and voice-overs are a waste of our time. Just say yay or nay so I can go to bed. 

Dave says he feels good about today. Amber is oddly silent. When she answers, she says she’s confused and unsure. Dr. Pepper asks what married life has been like for them. Blah blah ups and downs. Blah blah roller coaster. My god, get these people a few new phrases to work with!! Dave says he’s a pretty low-key guy who doesn’t get worked up about things, but Amber does, and he has to get past that. Also that she doesn’t always hear what he’s saying to her—she hears the worst-case scenario of what he’s saying. Amber says she doesn’t always feel secure in the relationship, or how Dave feels about her. She thought they’d be further along in their feelings by now.

Does she want to stay married? She does. She thinks Dave is worth it and they are worth it as a couple, and that they can get where they need to get. Well no wonder she feels insecure. Dave doesn’t even look happy to hear that!

So what’ll it be, Dave? Dave doesn’t want to rush feelings, but he does want more time. He wants to stay married. He says, “I want to choose to be with you and continue working.” He hopes this commitment today is more meaningful to her than the wedding one. Dr. P wipes away a tear. I mean, I guess considering this is Downer Dave, this is a touching speech, but I’m not moved. They toast. 

The couples return home together. 

Danielle shows the dogs her new engagement ring. 

Mia and Tristan look at a creepy blanket on their bed bearing their own faces. (What is it with them and blankets? Just turn down the effing AC!) 

Dave and Amber drink more booze on a rooftop. Amber wants a new cat. Or a baby.

Rev Cal says they’re going to check back in with the couples next week on the MAFS finale. (Wait. This wasn’t the finale????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

Natalie is off to bed.