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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Married at First Sight Dallas: Episode 10

I was comfortable in my bed, about to start my meditation app, when my friend texted me a comment about Amber being a ditz. Oh crap! That’s tonight??I thought. Alas, it is. So I dragged myself out of bed to get my computer, and here we are.

Episode 10 marks the momentous halfway point of the experiment. One whopping month. Rev Cal explains that couples should be celebrating milestones and doing special things with and for each other because it brings them closer together. 

Amber wants to celebrate by staying in and cooking dinner for Dave. She thinks this is the mark of a good wife and mother, and she wants to be those things. Dave is touched she wants to do it and does an admirable job letting her do her thing and not interfering except for when she asks for guidance. Which she does repeatedly, like when she doesn’t know where to find the pans, what pan to use, how long it takes to chop vegetables, how many cloves of garlic is two cloves, if she can place wrapped chicken in a certain spot, why the chicken is so cold, if she should rinse the chicken (she should not but does so anyway), if it’s okay to put the drippy chicken on the pan still damp, how to work the salt grinder (which she calls pepper). When she doesn’t know how to chop garlic, Dave tries to be helpful and offers her a garlic press to simplify her task. She has clearly never seen a garlic press before and asks what it would, like, do, and he aborts mission and lets her just chop it by hand. It probably seemed too complicated to explain it to her. I’m laughing as I watch this, but also marveling at Dave’s composure. He tells camera that he appreciates the sentiment of Amber wanting to cook for him and finds it challenging to watch her because he’d like to jump in and help her, but he doesn’t want to interfere. This is nice of him and I’ll admit I would not be able to exercise that level of self-control, particularly when she contaminates the entire kitchen with her chicken hands touching the refrigerator door, butter container, salt grinder, and countless other things (all of which Dave admits to camera he is committing to memory so he can disinfect them when she’s finished). Luckily for both of them, he gets cleanup duty. 

Now Bobby is taking Danielle skeet shooting. Bobby guides her through the experience and she gets sweaty. They’re so harmonious together that they get no time at all. (Thankfully, because what a snooze that was to watch…)

Mia and Tristan are engaged in the very romantic task of doing a benefits/challenges analysis activity on the matter of the move to Houston. Mia lists a couple challenges like leaving her friends/family and the timing. Then Tristan lays his cards on the table. He’s all “There’s no benefits to me staying here. And I’d rather live near my family than yours.” Well daaaaaaamn. But he’s got a point. (Though one wonders why he didn’t foresee this potential before applying for a tv show where people live in Dallas.) Anyway, they list more things and manage to come up with 100 benefits and only 53 risks, so there’s that. (Spoiler alert: “Resentment” is on both sides of the list.) 

Dave is surprising Amber for their anniversary by taking her back to the Lucky Spur Ranch where they got married. He’s doing this instead of buying her a gift, he says, because experiences are better than jewelry. In the car on the way there, Dave wants to reminisce about…a month ago. Amber then guesses their destination and is so impressed with Dave’s cleverness going back to the scene of the crime, er, wedding.

Tristan and Mia are taking a gondola ride for their anniversary. They cuddle under a blanket and avoid discussing all the shit they’ve been through in the past month. They’re not strangers anymore, they note. They say “I love you.” They kiss. They’re great actors.

I’m bored. I’d like to watch Amber try to cook something else. That was fun.

Bobby and Danielle look at their wedding album. Afterward, they open presents they got each other. Bobby gives Danielle a DNA test for Henry. Her dog. Which, apparently, is something she’s wanted for a long time. (These two…) He also wrote her 23 note cards of things he loves about her (23 because they were married on the 23rd.) Danielle is impressed with the thoughtfulness of Bobby’s gift. Danielle made Bobby a Baseball Bucket List board because he wants to visit all the baseball stadiums in the country. She also gives him tickets to a game in Seattle for when they visit her family in a few weeks. He is jazzed with this gift. They both did a nice job with thoughtful gift-giving. Kudos Bobby and Danielle.

Dave and Amber are back at the ranch and they reminisce about their wedding day, look at their wedding album, kiss on the porch, dance in the ballroom. Amber wears a big red blanket everywhere they go and it’s pissing me off. How about get a sweater or jacket? Thanks.

Back in Dallas, Mia and Tristan look at their dumb album. Mia says “amazing” too many times. Tristan re-reads his wedding vows to her. Mia reads her vows, too. I can’t help but laugh out loud when I hear her read her vow to always be open and honest with him. I guess it was opposite day when she wrote those. Tristan says he’s good to her because she’s good to him; they deserve each other. Um, yeah. After putting up with so much, he does deserve what he gets with her. They also watch their wedding video. I take a nap.

Dr. Jessica says it’s time to reflect on what they’ve been through and look forward to the future. 

Bobby has arranged for he and his bride to visit a drive-in where they watch their video whilst munching popcorn in a candlelit bed in the back of a truck (which, I’m pretty sure, is actually called the bed). So I guess they’re watching it in a candlelit bed bed.  

Dave, Amber, and Amber’s blanket watch their video. They remark how much better they know each other now, and how lucky they got. Dave tells Amber she has cake in her teeth.

This episode seems too idyllic. The show will need to play up some relationship strife in the coming weeks if we’re going to believe everyone is nervous about whether they’re going to stay married or get a divorce. At this point it seems like Bobby and Danielle can just skip that whole episode since there’s no question they’re staying married. I’m glad for them; I really am. But they are so dull to watch. 

Tristan gives Mia some closet space for their anniversary. He wants her to feel at home. She’s impressed with the effort and time. Mia givesTristan a giant cutout of his own face. (Because he loves himself so much. Har har.) Before presenting it, she tells him it’s a funny gift. Him: “My funny or your funny?” Her: “My funny.” Him: “So it’s not funny.” But after he sees it, he admits it’s funny. (I don’t think it’s all that funny, but whatever.)

Speaking of things that are only funny to the participants…Bobby and Danielle have a hilarious conversation in bed about what they like and know about each other. If Bobby’s memory for tiny Danielle-details was eyesight, he’d have 20-20 vision, y’all. He even remembers that Danielle’s mom makes horrible burgers and now all of America knows, too. They crack up over it while viewers feel glad the episode is over.

Good news: looks like next week has plenty of drama. Let the countdown to DECISION DAY begin! 

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